Saturday, January 19, 2008

Am I Not Likeable?

I know I’m not the friendliest person around and my 1st impression is not the most memorable. I have to admit that I do look like I got something stuck in my arse but…. I don’t know lah.It’s not like no one is talking to me or “memulau”ing me but when nobody asks you to join them for lunch after 4 months of working together, you do have to wonder what is the problem? Bad breath? Body odour? Bad attitude? A Man United fan maybe? Or they just don’t like me. But what have I done to make them not like me?

I understand, when a person comes into a place where everyone had known each other since the beginning of time, or in this case, for almost 10 years of working together…it is kinda hard to knock that door and join in to be part of that group. Hearing the crazy and sad things they had shared all these years made u realize that they are just not colleagues, they are close friends. And for a person like me, where I sometimes wonder what else can I do with my mouth other than to is not easy. Unlike my better half who can just walk into a room full of strangers and in less than 5 minutes after that will make them feel like they had been friends for years. I wish I have that confidence and aura sometimes….

On Fridays, while the others pergi solat Jumaat in groups, I’ll be going alone..and having lunch alone I must add too. It does sound sad and pathetic huh…but some of you might say and think…open lah the mouth. Try lah tanya if you can join them. Well friends, I did that a few times before and I never thought that I needed to ask them every single time lah right? Malu lah pulak cos you do hope someone would actually come up to you at 11.30 Friday morning saying, “Kau ikut sama ke nanti solat Jumaat?”… So far, when it’s 12.45pm on a Friday….. I angkat kepala, I ‘ll be the only muslim guy still around. Just to pujuk myself, I like to think that there are not enough space for me to fit in the car. I am quite a large human being anyway...yeah, that must be it...rite?

Well, the least I can do is to take the positives from the whole situation...I lost 3 inches from my waist since the lunch skipping and I don’t have to worry about having enough money for lunch. I don’t need it and I get to do a little bit of savings.

For the people who knows me, am I not likeable? What can I do?